Why do People Criticize Others?
You’ll mostly receive criticism in
competitive environments. If you are in a highly competitive field, people will
expect a lot more from you and might criticize you more. If you do something
that makes someone feel threatened in such an environment, they might
deliberately criticize you in order to try and get you to stop doing what
you’re doing. Janice from your office might tell you that even though the boss
praised you so much for your work with your previous client, it was only
because he is attracted to you. She’s implying that your work isn’t good enough
on its own, and she’s doing it in order to try to get to you.
Lots of people will also react negatively
to something when they feel that they are being diminished or disrespected by
it. People will have very strong negative responses to things when they feel
that it says something negative about them personally. This is important to
remember since their criticisms in this category might actually be very
important for you to listen to. When they criticize you here, they’re really
saying that you made them feel insignificant and that they were hurt. For
example, when your brother criticizes you for being too close to your mother
and calls you a momma’s boy, he might simply be telling you that he feels
jealous of your relationship with your mother.
Jealousy is definitely one of the
biggest reasons why people criticize others. All of us are guilty of this. When
someone does something that you wish you could have done yourself, you will
very easily find the faults with the way they did it. If someone is brave
enough to ask out the guy that you wanted to ask out, you might criticize her
for stammering over her words when she was talking to him. What you’re really
saying is, I wish I could’ve done that
scary but rewarding thing that she did.
The main reason why people
criticize you, and why there is any criticism to go around in the first place,
is that people genuinely see room for improvement and they think that their
opinions or suggestions can help you to get there. Some people just genuinely
want to help you and point out something that you might have missed. Their
advice or criticisms might be annoying or painful, but their intentions are
pure and you can learn a lot if you listen to them.
This is the case with your
professor or supervisor when they give you feedback on your research. They’ve
been academics for years, and they’re trying to help you improve. Even when the
criticism seems overly harsh, it’s their way of doing their jobs and preparing
you to be a better writer and a stronger researcher.
Remember also that people are
emotional, irrational beings. Many of them always want to be right or be better
than others. Some of them are simply mean or hurtful and will criticize you or break
you down because they find it fun – they have issues that they’re taking out on
you. For various reasons, you represent something to them that makes them want
to lash out at you for the things you do. For example, I like going on long
rants about reality stars, but are they really doing something so wrong that
they need my constant criticism? I’m mostly doing it because they represent a
vapid consumer culture that makes me upset, but they’re not bad people and they
are just trying to run their businesses as best they can.
There are many reasons why people
might criticize you. Sometimes it’s about things that really will help you and
make you more successful, and you should listen to these when they come your
way. Sometimes it’s about ways that you might be hurting them or other people,
and you should listen to these too. But a lot of the time, the majority of the
time in fact, it’s simply a reflection of their personal issues and no matter
what you do, they’ll criticize you. You shouldn’t listen to these.